Sunday, September 24, 2006

Advice Plesae

I need some advice here. I've always been honest with you with my life. Both good and bad. I feel if you want to know me you should know both the positive and negative.

In the past I've told you I drink. I've always felt with maybe 5 or so exceptions I've always been in control and even when I am drunk I've not the "a$$hole drunk" I'm more the "happy drunk" or so I'm told. I've always felt that when you drink it enhances your personality one way or the other.

The reason I bring it up is this. I have a place where I go to all the time where I can go and hang out and godforbid relax which is something I really don't have much of a chance to do. So last night a friend of mine named Jeff (yes I'm using his name he deserves all the embarassment he can get) who drinks all the time and is an A$$hole drunk shows up. Jeff's one of the nicest guys I know until he gets drunk and then I don't wanna deal with him. Jeff is there and we are hanging out last night and another friend of ours shows up and he goes over to talk with him and his girlfriend. Now Jeff gets really loud and obnoxious as I said when he is drunk but is normally harmless. I leave for a few minutes to use the restroom and as I said Jeff is talking with my other friend. I come back and Jeff is on the floor and my other friend is beating the snot out of him cause Jeff was in my friends face for an underserved reason. In other words Jeff had it coming.

Now normally I would be the first to defend Jeff but there is no excuse for that. One of the things I always have said is we are responsible for our own actions and Jeff was responsible cause he was the one who was piss drunk.

My bottom line is I'm going to see Jeff we go around to a lot of the same places but I've lost so much respect for him I don't really know how to react to him when I see him. I need some help here.


Robert E Wilson said...

The way I see it, you have two choices.

1. Decide that Jeff is not worth the pain and trouble he causes and disassociate yourself with him. When you see him at the places you both frequent, acknowledge his presence, but go no further.

2. Decide that you will stick with him through thick and thin. (obviously, this being a "thin" time) He will someday wise up and thank you for having faith in him when others would not.

No one should make this choice for you. It's up to you decide if he is worth it or not.

Keep in mind that there is no option 3 - Make him realize how his behaviour is harmful to himself and to others. This is something Jeff will have to figure out for himself. The first step in solving a personal problem is to realize you have a problem. No friend can do this, no matter how well intended the friend may be.

Erik said...

First welcome back. Second you are right. My problem is choice a is more reasonable since I went through that with a former friend and right now don't have the patience since I'm burned out with my family right now I don't think I can deal with.