Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Back to alcohol??

Here is the link and I realize the source but I'd like to talk about this tonight and believe it or not I won't bash Bush much on this if it's true.

Is Pres. Bush, an admitted alcoholic, back drinking?? That's the point of the story.

Now I am really not going to blame him if he is. President I would say is the most stressful jobs out there and the decisions he and his staff makes are not easy(unless they are pre-planned like Iraq) and I really couldn't and won't blame him if he is drinking.

This might be the only thing I can possibly relate to with Dubya. If I can take a trip back in time a couple of years. It was fall of 2003. Not even my friends know all of this one but I am discussing this with my readers on this site.

I had been working for a company that I will not name for 4 1/2 years. I got along with everyone everyone got along with me I was very well-respected in the company. I worked hard for my job didn't get upset when I was passed for promotions even though I was a better employee (this is not ego this is fact)the point is I was happy with my job. The company I worked for was bought out by a larger company. Enevitably layoffs were coming. They let go of 3 other departments but kept saying our department was fine at least for the short term. Mind you in my department I was the oldest person on the floor and when I asked they kept telling me my job was secure they gave me their word about that now to me, when someone gives me their word that is very important. I was advised since I was the oldest representative on the floor even if there ended up being layoffs I would be among the last to go. Again I took them for their word. Stupid me. I was the first person let go from my department because they said I was the oldest rep on the floor.

Now I had been working for pretty much 15 years straight to that point without any real time off so shortly after a friend of mine and myself took a trip to Las Vegas, which is one of my favorite cities to go to. We hang out at a bar there at a hotel that I hear is now going to be demolished which is a shame. I ask the bartender for a strong drink (I was upset about the job) which is not .151 rum (cause as far as I'm concerned that's poison) so I'm given this shot which I unfortunately take a liking too. I end up spending a lot of money there and for the first time in my life (being 33 at the time) I was drunk. I unfortunately liked it. So that whole trip I'm doing two of the worst combinations possible: Drinking and Gambling. I blew a lot of money obviously that trip but for me I figured it was a way to blow off a little steam cause I was upset about losing my job and thought that would relax me.

My mistake. When my friend and I came home from the trip I continued to drink. I would start tabs(and the bars I frequented let me start tabs) I would regularly spend $100 a night on shots and drinks and mind you I was not working and not yet collecting unemployment so I had little to no money to spend. I was at rock bottom I had never been so low and so sad and depressed in my life. It was hard for me to find a job and I was busting my butt off cause I wanted to work. I got frustrated and drank more. I was almost suicidal. I had to move out of the place I was living in and, at 33 back home with my parents cause I had no way to pay rent. Like I said I was at Rock Bottom of my life. At the bars I went to I would get so drunk I blacked out for a short period of time. Now the funny thing is at least whatever happened during that time I was still at the same place I arrived at so either they wouldn't let me go or I stayed but I still have no memory of the time I was at these places.

Two of the three places ended up 86ing me (throwing me out) I accept responsibility cause if I wasn't such an idiot I wouldn't have put myself in those situations.

I don't know what turned me around honestly. Around October of 2003 I decided to pretty much stop going out. I disappreared. Didn't think anyone would notice my abscense. I kept in touch with a few friends but mostly I was trying to find a job and when I was I stayed home even though I was collecting unemployment at the time.

In February of 2004 I decided to start going out again. As I said I had some income
coming in and I feel I know what my weakness was and could avoid drinking too much. Now what too much is depends on your view. I have mine and made my vow to stick with it. The nicest feeling I had when I walked into the one place where I like to sing karaoke for 10 years and everyone greeted me with open arms and all was forgiven. They saw me at my lowest and for all the people I knew to open up and welcome me back was a feeling I'll never forget cause I really didn't think I was going to get a warm reception there. I was wrong.

Now don't get me wrong I still like to drink. I'm nowhere near as out of control as I was I slowed down on the shots I was drinking and pretty much stick with beer (light beer at that). I never get out of control and the bartenders and waitresses there I've all instructed to stop serving me if I am ever close to that state.

Now like I said if W. is back to drinking I am the last person who will ever think he is wrong. Not being in his shoes I can never know what's going on in his head. (yeah I know that quote will come back to haunt me) so I will not pretend to understand. He is human and has the same flaws in us all.


Robert E Wilson said...

Are you seriously quoting the National Enquirer as a credible source? What's next, the Weekly World News?

Erik said...

I said I realize the source what part of that is hard to understand?? And again if he is I said so what

Erik said...

sad part really is Robert you didn't even understand what the post was about.

Robert E Wilson said...

I understood your post, Erik. I know you were coming clean about your situation. I had no idea you were going through that. But you did have to mention the article as a lead-in. You can't possibly be saying you weren't implying something by pointing out the article.

Erik said...

I said I don't fault him if he is. No more no less. I can't (dispite my feelings for him) understand the decisions he makes and as I said IF it's true I just think it makes him human.

Erik said...

I mean one thing that's well known about Bush is he's a former drug addict and alcoholic and with Katrina,Rita and the war in Iraq maybe he fell at least once off the waggon.

Bill C said...

I had other ways to deal with the stress...

Erik said...

Robert if you wanna take a look though at a couple of episodes during his presidency. When the claim he choked on a pretzel while watching the SUper Bowl years ago it was widely reported he passed out AND associated press had reports he was drunk when he was in San Diego a couple of weeks ago and there was a television station there that showed him stumpling up the steps on Air Force One. Again it could mean he's a clutz like Ford but still you have to take a look at his past.